Jit's Journal: Pain

Jit’s Journal: PainI lay shivering in the dark of the X-ray room, listening to the hum of the machines as they looked beyond my skin and into my body. I knew what had just happened to me, but for some reason I kept hoping beyond hopes that I was dreaming. I continued to blink my eyes, but nothing. I could hear hushed voices outside the room. Was it true? Had I really just blown my knee out? The doctors were speaking in French, a language that I have little grasp of, and my last run kept playing over and over in my head. I was running first on the second run of a Europa Cup GS, laying it all on the line. I felt as though I was floating on air, hammering through the gates like they didn’t even exist. I was taking the bad boy line, and I was on fire.

It began after the Nor-Am races in Keystone, Colorado. After the final race there, a small group of us on the EC squad flew to Europe right away. The group included: Jesse Marshall, Drew Roberts, TJ Lanning, Roger Brown, Evan Weiss, and me. Our Mission was to go and hammer out a bunch of tech starts before the New Year Nor-Ams in Hunter, New York. It was the perfect opportunity to score some Europa Cup points and get myself in the top 15 in the standings. Seeing that I was going to be racing all four events on the Circuit all year, the points would be quite valuable. Most kids in the U.S. have no idea that even if you have 10 points, you will still be starting in the 30’s and 40’s in a Europa Cup unless you have Europa Cup Points.

We arrived to what else bad weather. We had yet to race a day that it wasn’t snowing and our luck wasn’t changing. Our first races were slaloms in Shlick 2000, just outside of Innsbruck. The hill was steep and icy, and the course sets were terrible. 21 of 108 people finished the first day. I managed to ski into fifth while my teammates all blew out in the same hairpin on the first run. The second day was similar, with the same bad weather. Drew Roberts and I were in position to podium after the first run, but huge second-run mistakes cost us dearly and we were relegated to mediocre finishes.

Two days later I found myself in Valloire, France for some Europa Cup giant slalom races. This was it, no more warm-ups, I needed to get going with my season and step it up. The first day I started 51st. I punched it my first run. The conditions were rugged on this course that resembles Alta Badia, but I just got into the flip 30. If you don’t make flip in Europa Cups your day is a waste; I was 29th. The next run I ran second and laid down a run that moved me into 14th overall. With that I moved into 20th in the Europa Cup GS standings, hence I would be starting 20th the next day. I was pumped! My skiing was back on track and I was ready to continue moving up the standings. The next day I started 20th and let it hang out a little too much first run on one of the toughest courses I’ve ever run. I paid for it, ending up in 30th. However I would be running first second run. This was it, time to do what I did the day before.

I kicked out of the gate and everything was going perfect. Not a track in the course. I was on fire and half way down the course when suddenly I hip checked. I was in the process of saving it when my downhill ski jammed into a rut from first run. My leg stopped but my upper body kept going. My knee slammed into my jaw, and as my eyes shut in pain I heard a pop that sounded like a small firecracker. For the first 30 seconds my leg felt like it was on fire. I grimaced with pain; it felt like someone hit my knee with a hammer. I laid on the snow and looked up at the perfect blue sky realizing my season was over.

Nine hours of driving later I was in Munich, Germany. The next morning I flew middle seat in coach with a blown out knee the entire way home, because I had a UN upgradeable ticket. The lady at the counter had no sympathy. With no available seats in economy other than in the middle and my ability to upgrade denied I was beside myself. Even with over 100,000 miles in my account they wouldn’t upgrade me to business class and I spent 20 something hours traveling in pain. I’m not going to lie, I snapped. I think it was dealing with my eight bags in U.S. Customs that finally broke me.

When I arrived home I was bitter and upset knowing that when I got out of bed the next day I wouldn’t be racing. Others will be progressing forward while I’m standing still watching. It hurts more to know that I was skiing well. Now I have a new challenge ahead of me, getting healthy and returning stronger than I have ever been. My life is going to slow down considerably, but I guess it will give me a chance to gain some perspective and do things I didn’t have time for in the past. My drive to succeed is only going to double. This is far from over. I will be back at it again soon. You can count on that.

-Jit
jitskiracing@yahoo.com