American legend Bode Miller’s ongoing contract dispute with former equipment supplier HEAD looks to have been resolved as the two parties agreed to terms making Miller the Austrian brand’s premier athlete on the grass skiing circuit in an announcement early this morning.
“We are thrilled to have finally put our differences aside and found common ground,” said HEAD Race Department Director Rainer Salzgeber. “Bode’s presence on the grass skiing circuit will no doubt put HEAD on the map, making our new grass skis and our team of Grass Skiing Rebels real players in the industry going forward.”
Miller, ever the visionary, pointed to recent rollbacks of environmental regulations in the U.S. as motivation to get ahead of the curve and make the jump to grass skiing.
“It’s a matter of time, really,” Miller said from his Southern California home. “At this pace, we’ll all be skiing on grass soon anyways, so I figured I’d be an early adopter just like I was with OSBE Helmets. Trust me.”
Miller isn’t the only one who sees opportunity in exploring the realm of skiing without snow as U.S. Ski Team Head Men’s Coach Sasha Rearick pointed out.
“With Bode’s knowledge of equipment and go-for-broke spirit, I have no doubt that he will be a real player in the non-snow skiing sports in the coming years, especially looking towards the 2022 Olympics in Beijing and beyond,” Rearick said. “I hear that Dubai is the early frontrunner for the 2026 Games, so Bode is really looking towards the future with this move.”
Who knew skiing on sand dunes wasn’t just for rich white girls on their “semester abroad?”
Bode Miller. That’s who.
Last season’s Grass Skiing Overall World Cup champ, Italy’s Edoardo Frau, was unavailable for comment at the time of publication, but is no doubt shaking in his grass-stained boots at the news that the two-time Overall World Cup winner (on snow) is now looking to take over his turf.
“Edoardo who?” Miller quipped. “Have a nice April Fools’ Day, you filthy animals.”