This article is the third and final in a series on the role of technology in ski racing (here are #1 and #2). Today, I will focus on one technology that has become ever-present in our sport and is changing how parents (and kids) follow races. I’m talking about live timing, any online real-time platform that tracks race results.

Let me preface my comments by saying I have nothing against live timing. I periodically use it to follow the racers I work with. But I’ve never used it to track my daughters when they raced. I also realize that live timing benefits many in the ski racing community, including officials, coaches, parents, the media, and racers themselves (as exemplified in the Quotes section of Live-Timing.com). At the same time, like every form of technology, I want to point out unintended and not necessarily healthy consequences in this article so that everyone who uses live timing can maximize its value and minimize its liabilities.

Let me share with you some examples of less-than-positive use of live timing before I discuss specific concerns I have:

• Parents at races watch live timing on their smartphones rather than watching their kids race.
• Parents’knee-jerk reactions at the finish line or remotely to their children’s race results, whether extreme excitement or stunning disappointment, immediately after their kids finish.
• Parents who aren’t at the race call their spouse at the finish line, and the spouse hands their phone to their kid even before they have time to catch their breath.
• Parents who are not at the race make assumptions (usually inaccurate and harmful) and pass judgment (ditto) about how their child did before getting the whole story from their young racer.

Behind these overt and somewhat egregious uses of live timing are some pretty significant messages you communicate to your young racers when you use live timing inappropriately or excessively.

Priorities Revealed: Unpacking the Message Behind Live Timing Obsession

The first message your kids may get from a preoccupation with live timing is that results matter most to you. It’s easy to say that your children’s ski racing is about having fun, being challenged, and developing essential life skills, but let’s be realistic: we live in a highly competitive culture where results matter. But, as I have written about previously, your children are more likely to get the results that they and you want if they focus more on the process than the results. Your children already get unhealthy messages from our hyper-intense achievement culture, their schools, their peers, and, often, their coaches. The fewer messages about results they get from you, the better. Yet, when you focus on live timing rather than your kids’ experience and performance in the race, you send the unhealthy message that results are your priority.

Parental Pressure and Performance: The Weight of Expectation

The second message that your children may get involves how important their ski racing is to you. Of course, you will care about your kids’ ski racing. Otherwise, why would you devote so much time, energy, and financial resources to our sport? However, this investment can turn into an overinvestment of your self-esteem and ego, and the results of this investment become your ROI (Return on Investment). When your children see you using and talking about live timing too much, you tell them their ski racing is REALLY important to you, placing the weight of expectation on their shoulders. That burden can lead to fear of failure, pressure, and competitive anxiety, all of which will prevent your kids from getting the best results they and you can hope for. It also sucks the fun and enjoyment out of their ski racing.

Judging Beyond Time: Recognizing the Full Scope of Racing Performance

Following live timing rather than your children’s actual race-day experiences can color your initial reactions to their race performances. If you’re paying more attention to their time on live timing than how they are skiing, you might miss how good their skiing was or their mistake that resulted in a slow time despite excellent skiing. You form your judgments based on time rather than on the gestalt of their racing experience. When you focus on their time, you may miss out on their excitement, determination, and resilience in facing what we all know to be a tough challenge every time they ski from the starting gate to the finish line. You cannot solely sum up a race run, whether fast or slow, flawless or mistake-ridden, based solely on a time you see on a screen.

One of the most significant defenses I hear from parents is that live timing allows them to share their kids’ race experiences when they can’t be at the race. I understand that parents want to be involved in their kids’ racing. At the same time, I would argue that staring at a bunch of numbers on a screen doesn’t quite equal sharing their kids’ racing experience. Live timing can also become another manifestation of the (creepy) “tracking your kid” culture in which you follow them constantly without them being aware of it.

Beyond the Screen: Nurturing Genuine Connections and Emotional Growth in Parent-Child Relationship

Also, by engaging with them indirectly (called “mediated experience” in tech-psych speak), you are missing out on engaging with them directly. With a screen between the two of you, you as a parent are going to be missing the stuff that young lives are all about, namely, challenging themselves,, pushing their limits, the satisfaction of a great effort, and  the nerves pre-race and the feelings afterward, whether a great race or a great disappointment. A solid parent-child bond comes from genuine connections, emotions, physical closeness, and the subtle cues you pick up when you directly share experiences with your children. Using a screen can hinder these vital aspects of a deep relationship.

Finally, one of the most essential aspects of ski racing in children’s development is their experiences after their races, what they will perceive as a success or a failure. The time after they cross the finish line (or don’t) is when they learn their most significant lessons from our sport, for example, overcoming disappointment, staying motivated and positive in the face of mistakes and adversity, and learning to reconcile their aspirations with their performances. When you track them with live timing or intrude on this time by asking them to talk to their non-present parent on your smartphone, you deprive them of the valuable time they need to process their performance and experience its emotional impact.

Unveiling the Truth: Reclaiming Race Day Moments with Your Child

I’m not saying that you should swear off live timing completely. As with most forms of technology, it’s not whether you use it but how, when and why. Here are some suggestions for you to use live timing as a tool to support your children’s racing efforts rather than as a hindrance:

• Keep your smartphone and live timing in your pocket if you’re at a race. Allow yourself to fully experience your child’s race directly rather than through a screen. Then, connect with your child after the race in the most caring way possible. Finally, when they’re hanging out with their friends and have put the race behind them, you can sneak into a corner of the base lodge, pull out your phone, open live timing, and do a detailed analysis of their times and result (or, better yet, don’t and just hang out with other parents and have fun yourself).

• If you’re not at the race, don’t track your child’s race second by second and interval by interval; the inevitable emotional roller coaster doesn’t feel good. Instead, get a full report from your child after the race (when they’re ready to engage with you) before you look at live timing and make the inevitable judgments and comparisons with their peers (or, better yet, just bask in the experiences they shared with you and be grateful you have the opportunity to share those experiences with your children).

Live Timing Realities: A Call for Present Parenting

My comments so far haven’t even included racers’ use (and misuse) of live timing. Don’t even get me started on kids sitting at a table in the base lodge between runs, each holding their phone out and looking at first-run results on live timing. When racers play that “comparison game,” the hurt feelings of the many far outweigh the rejoicing of the few.

Look, I’m a realist and recognize two things related to live timing. First, I will get some blowback from parents who disagree with my stance on live timing and feel that it’s a perfectly fine way to follow their children’s racing and stay connected with them. And I’m definitely open to someone showing me what I’ve missed.. Second, most parents can’t resist the Siren’s call of live timing when their children are racing. But if I can convince just a few parents to set their media aside on race day and be completely in the moment with their children, that sounds like a win.